HOLY HERETIC - October 14, 2018

HOLY HERETIC October 14, 2018 – What Have You Done to Me?

“One’s relatives are the ones who conspire against him.
More than the knife with which we cut yams.” Holy Odu Owonrin

Today’s featured transit: Retrograde Venus in Scorpio

Do I have any memories of when my mother restricted my self-expression? I don’t remember anything specific. Just little corrections here and there. I remember her one time talking to me and my best friend, when we were just starting high school, about how young ladies should never laugh too loud. She even demonstrated with a little fake sounding trill of a laugh. I look back on that and wonder did she know how ridiculous that sounded.

I remember when she told me I was too old to sit on my Daddy’s lap. She told me that men don’t know how to control themselves and so you have to watch what you do around them, how you dress, what you say. You have to control the conversation at all times lest they take it in a direction you don’t want it to go. Those directives were not limited to nonfamily members. In my mother’s mind, the men in your family were not to be trusted either. And if you strayed out of those strict boundaries, anything that happened to you would be your own fault.

My aunts were also complicit in this education. There were just certain things that decent women did not do. They preached the gospel of submission. Men were the leaders, to be served and catered to at all times. Even though they did not live their lives that way. It was still the standard that was upheld. They tried hard to adhere to it, especially my mother. She felt that the reason her marriages failed was because she was a faulty woman. Not because the standard was wrong.

Today’s action: Meditate on the ways your parents and other nurturers cut off your unique self-expression. Ask yourself: What can I do to reclaim that lost part of myself?

Today’s sharing: How can I heal from the wounds inflicted by well meaning parents and caregivers who wanted the best for me? How do I elevate those hurtful traditions?

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