Full Moon in Aquarius: The Shadow Knows

Last night, I went outside and briefly looked at the Moon and let her shine on me. She has been near Jupiter and Saturn for the past few nights, bright dots flanking her in the sky. I reflected on how Pluto, unseen, was lurking behind them. The Jupiter/Saturn/Pluto conjunction has been the primary source of upheaval these past few months. Being able to look up and see them (at least two of them), I greeted them. After I went to sleep, I was gifted with a dream.

I dreamed that I had the opportunity to buy an old house. I used to live in the house and was renting then. But my old landlord contacted me out of the blue and told me that the house was for sale at a deep discount. There was no way I could pass up the opportunity given how much I loved the house and hated that it had fallen into such disrepair. I met with the landlord on the property and, afterwards, went upstairs to re-familiarize myself with my old home. And to see if it was still there.

It was. The door. No longer on the third floor and at the top of a scary and rickety flight of stairs but at the end of a hallway of extra bedrooms on the second floor. I felt apprehension as I approached it because I remember what happens behind that door. And I started talking shit to make myself feel better. "Oh, you still here. I'm not scared of you." The door opened on its own and now my apprehension is approaching fear. "So you just gon open for me now. I'm ready for you." I took a step inside and the familiar darkness was there beyond the pool of light cast by the hallway lights. Deep and impenetrable. Frightening. I sighed and closed the door, knowing that once I bought the house, I was going to have to come back and go fully through that door. And face that darkness. Again.

This is where we find ourselves right now. Face to face with the darkness. Our shadow. Those recurring issues that are our lifelong issues. The issues which we never fully resolve because they are deeply rooted in the core of who we are. Those issues which are our karmic and destined work.

Shadow work is never easy but it is always rewarding. Our shadow is the heart of who we are and before any huge change or leap of growth, we have to face it. We have to die and be reborn. To run from our shadow is to run from ourselves. We cut ourselves off from our deepest knowing when we cut off our shadows.

Now is the time to buckle up and face what we need to face. Sit with our ugliness until we can see our beauty. This is the key to wholeness. This is the key to transformation.


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