Full Moon in Libra: Not in Control

I never would have chosen to have an infusion during the very last waxing hours before a Full Moon. I chose my first infusion date and time carefully knowing that the dates and times for the others would follow based on the treatment plan. Naturally, I knew that other things would impact and change the subsequent treatment dates but I wanted to start off at the best possible time. No matter what happens between now and the end of my treatment cycle, starting off strong would carry through. Plus I know that ultimately, Ancestors and Spirit Guides will have the last word and everything will happen in Their timing.

I've been studying horary and electional astrology for the past couple of years and I understand the basics now. The moment I got serious about them is clear though. The nurse had just left the room after doing my follow up mammogram and something didn't seem right. I had my phone and pulled up the chart of that moment. I didn't have time to delve into it but I knew that the Moon/Venus opposition which immediately jumped out at me was not a good sign. Over the next few hours, because they took their sweet time making me wait, the chart ascendant changed and the entire character of the chart shifted. When they officially delivered the news to me, the energy was then optimistic. I could beat this. I felt like I was watching Divine Timing at work.

To clarify: Horary charts are charts pulled in answer to specific questions such as, "Is this nurse seeing cancer in my mammogram?" Electional charts are charts pulled to determine the best time to do something. Electional astrology can be used to set wedding dates, business openings, things like that. The temptation with electional astrology is to believe that now you can control every important event in your life. But of course it doesn't work that way. This Full Moon period has been the reminder of how much we don't control.

So shit happened and my second treatment date was pushed back a week, putting it on day of the Full Moon. Because my treatment schedule is very tight, there were no options. That was the date. Not the day I would have chosen. My subsequent experiences since that time confirm my initial disquietude. I had a bad reaction to one of my medications which left me in excruciating pain for several days. I wasn't surprised that happened but I wondered. Why this timing? My Spiritual Folks have led me into and out of dark, dangerous places before. I trust Them. They have proven Themselves trustworthy.

Here's my initial takeaway. The drug I had the reaction to is the drug I had the most concerns about regarding long-term effects on my health. My strong, bad reaction to it made it clear that we can't continue using it. My doctor has come up with an alternative, which has its own challenges, but I believe I can live with them. Essentially, circumstances have played out in such a way that my biggest concern has been definitively and completely addressed early in the process. Not a bad outcome.

Eventually, my mind has gotten clear enough and my energy high enough to pull the chart for the time I started my infusion last week. It had a Cancer ascendant, so the Moon was the chart ruler. At the time, the infusion started, there was a lovely trine between the Moon and Venus. The Moon itself was in Venus' sign of Libra and Venus was vibing well with Jupiter. What ties it together is that the Moon was conjunct my natal Venus. Possibly the best time of that day to start the infusion for me.

We need these constant reminders that we aren't in control. We have built an entire society premised on the idea that bad things don't happen to people who are doing the right things. If something bad happens to you, it's because you're bad. You're not worthy of compassion or help or even basic human dignity because, obviously, you're a fuck up and you always will be.

While we're assessing what we can and cannot control, we can stop believing shit like this. That is fully under our control. These lies that keep us apart. It's time to give them up. We need each other more than ever now.

We're moving into the New Moon period with an opportunity to renew, refresh, restart. I'm feeling hopeful.


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