HOLY HERETIC – December 2, 2018

“There may be only one way to the Father but there are many ways to the Mother.” – Theeda

Today’s featured transit: Jupiter in Sagittarius square Neptune in Pisces

One night, during the summer of my fifteenth year, I dreamed a demon came to me.
The dream was so vivid and real. Because I often had vivid and disturbing dreams, I found it comforting to sleep by my bedroom door and keep the door open. My room was off the living room and my Mom would often keep a light on in that room to keep the house from being totally dark. (She had vivid and disturbing dreams also.)

In this dream, I was sleeping in my bed, next to the open bedroom door. I opened my eyes because I felt someone next to the bed. When I opened my eyes and looked into the eyes of my three-year-old nephew. He was living with us and I loved him dearly. But when I lifted my head and really got a good look into his eyes, I realized it wasn’t him. It looked like my nephew in his sleep shirt and diaper, with his thumb in his mouth, characteristic of my nephew, but I saw the devil looking back at me through his eyes. Good Xtian girl that I was at that time, I totally freaked out. I began rebuking him in the Name of Jesus as I had been taught. He retreated and then I really, truly woke up.

However, the dream wasn’t over. Because, when I came fully awake, I felt as if there was a battle going on over me. Lying in the bed, by the open door, with the light from the living room streaming through it, I felt the tension in the air. At first, I was afraid to move but then I felt the overwhelming urge to get out of there and that propelled me out the bed. I went down the hallway into the television room (past the room where my nephew and niece were sleeping) and sat in my Mom’s comfy lounge chair (the one we kids always fought to sit in when Mom wasn’t home). That’s when the still small voice spoke to me.

That room was semi-dark because of the reflected light from the living room but the voice was comforting, letting me know that I was okay. I thought I recognized the voice because, good Xtian girl that I was, I had been taught that the Holy Spirit spoke to us in a still small voice. We conversed. I asked questions. She (because that’s how it felt) gave me answers, at least as much as She could. There were a few questions She answered by saying that was not for me to know. And I was okay with that.
Eventually, I felt calm enough to go back to bed.

I never shared that incident with my pastor or the youth leaders or anyone for that matter. I had many supernatural experiences that summer. This dream experience was the culmination. I couldn’t talk to them about what was happening to me because with my dogmatic church upbringing, they would have condemned me. Somehow, it would have been my fault for being too open in some way and inviting the devil in.

Now I look back and know that my natural connection to Spirit was being activated. That the Divine Mother was reaching out to me, breaking through layers and layers of dogmatic indoctrination which had taught me that my open and free-flowing communication with Her was a bad and evil thing. But that connection was so strong that it could not be denied. My Mother was willing to fight for me.

Today’s action: Reflect upon the dogmatic religious traditions which keep you away from your natural and innate spirituality. What can you do to find the nurturing Mother within yourself and cultivate your relationship to her?

Today’s sharing: This is the season in which we celebrate the birth of spirit incarnating as flesh. What we are not taught is that we are all spirit incarnated as flesh. This Advent season is the time to discover and celebrate our innate, natural connection to Spirit. Our Mother encourages us to allow Her to be born as flesh through us. Centuries of dogmatic teaching has separated us from Her. But She is fighting for us. All we need do is keep the door open and She will meet us where we are and help us find our unique path.

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